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Saturday, March 17, 2007 3/17/2007 07:15:00 PM / top

its kind of amazing and scary how much i misses him still.
I have been thinking of him every minute since dec06.
no matter how much i stop myself, no matter how much i restrict myself.
he just keep appearing in my mind.
the situation has gotten even worst when he decided to ignore me completely.
why do i still miss him when i'm not suppose to?
why do vivid images keep running through my mind?
why has it becomes a must to think of him before i sleep and when i wake up?
why does everything that surrounds me reminds me of him?

i dread Saturday.
we used to meet every Saturday.
Although the last time i really saw him is 7weeks ago, 3feb07,
but i still feels his presence.

Do i still love him now?
maybe missing him has become a very bad habit.
gosh, when will i stop thinking of him?
when? when? when?

blogging is the only way to stop myself from smsing him.
missing him is a bad habit, just like ignoring my calls and not replying my sms has become his bad habit from dont know since when.

when i confronted him abt this.
he said i dont understand him and that
Although he dont contact me, but he put me in his heart.
gosh, am i suppose to feel touch or hurt?

i wonder, i wonder and i wonder....
how will he feel when he read all my posts and how does he use to feel when he receive my sms...
anyway its impossible, he wont find his way here.
or shld i say, he dont even give a damn if i have a blog or not.