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Wednesday, December 20, 2006 12/20/2006 01:03:00 PM / top

this is to cute germy.
even if u're siding them, its perfectly alright.
understandable.
u still have to spend one year with them.
at first i thought u dont like me because of dea's incident
but it seems so wrong cause i told u most of the things abt what ray said abt dea.
in the end i realise tt its not because of dea incident.
i know, theres a little misunderstanding btw me and other peeps
i do cherish the friendships
but i dont have the energy anymore to clear the misunderstanding
and so what if i clear it, the scar is already there.

its quite impossible to go back how it use to be.
u know it.
everytime when i see u guys together, everytime when i think of u
it hurt me so much.
the laughter, mugging period, shopping...
i begin to hate shopping so much cause it'll remind me of u ppl.
how things are no longer the same.
that i'm no longer part of urs and their lives.
u peeps know how much i hated being left out.
u peeps know i get easily upset when u all forget to invite me to the outings.
but it has become a habit, a must to read ur blogs.
kj,xy,ger,qt,val
and then to realise tt the name enerjas,jas no longer appear in the posts.
i'm not part of ur life anymore
but no matter how upset or hurt i am,
i still have to face it, life still goes on.
i'll not go to any of the 2e3 gatherings or have recess tgt with u peeps anymore.
i'm afriad tt i'll not be able to handle my own feelings.
so sorry.
but at least u peeps leave wonderful memories for me tt i'll nv ever forget.
at least when we grow up, i'll rmb the fun and joy we use to have
so yup,
=)
http://dq.chinaswitch.com/Christmas/Christmas.htm

and ---- stop making my life miserable
if u didn realise it, i'm now telling u that,
u're making my life very miserable
and i dont want to talk to u.
its not just abt dea's incident.
by telling me tt i'm ___, u're insulting me.
not being frank.
even if i am, do u think it'll do me any gd by being so direct.
u scare me.
and i dont wanna talk to u anymore
so pls stop calling me.
i hate to put down the phone again and again.
there is nth wrong with me.
i'm not mad, i'm not suffering from depression
i didnt isolate myself, i didnt do anything foolish, i didnt cut myself, i dont cry everyday
i'm still JASLIN
i'm still the sacarstic, cheerful jaslin tt love tomatos.
so ---- stop telling me tt i need to see doctor
and that u'll pay for my bills
u are insulting me and it'll make me think very badly of u...
seriously u scare me.
its time to grow up ray
the reality is not tt wonderful after all.
at the way u're thinking, everyone will need to see the pyschologist then
yes, it dosent pay off to be kind.
thats what i learnt too.
---- , always rmb tt jaslin is strong,
even i'm surprise at how much i can actually withstand.

the most enthu person in akemi, where are you?