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this is my 100th post =)
and this gonna be a very very sad post.
i've finally decided to write down watever i'v kept in my heart for very long.

every year birthday have been memorable.
i have party at almost of my birthday
pri6, didn't have party but i was not sad.
cause my dad bought handphone for me on my birthday!
i was like so excited
de joy was undescribable.

and so sec1 i was expecting another memorable birthday.
and it was indeed memorable.
in a negative way.
last year 25 october2004.monday.
no school.
few days before my birthday
my bestfriend decided and wanted to celebrate it with me.
and so i didn call any other ppl.
its just me and my bestfriend.
not even my ex.
i thought he had forgotten bout my birthday

but few hours before its finally 25/10
my bestfriends call me and told me dat they can't make it for de celebration
i didn blame them.
i know it was not their fault.
but i was sad.
de celebration i was looking for were all....
GONE!
i cried.
yup i cried
de first and only birthday dat i ever look forward to
its destroy in just a few second before de actual day

i didn tell my bestfriends dat i was dissappointed or had cried.
i dun wann them to feel guilty.
but luckily my korkor shawn was there for me.
he console me and pei me till 12am.
and my ex sms me.
wish me HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i thought he had forgotten but he didn
and a lot a lot of peeps sms me.
i was touched.

this year birthday.
i dun wann to be happy for nothing again.
or to be dissapointed
i thought everything will be better.
and so i organized de steamboat thinky.

25/10.
another person waited till 12am and wished me happy birthday.
i barely know dat person =)
and so i came to sch.
feeling bright and happy.
went to canteen to get something from sombody and went back to class.
ask felicia to pei me go toilet.
and went back to class.
as usual de class was noisy. =)
valerie was de second person dat wished me happy birthday verberly.
went down for flag raising.
pm was behind me.
i dunno wad i did to her and i told her
something like forgive me today huh. it was my birthday u know.
she was like shocked.
cause she had forgotten dat today is my birthday.
her reaction was so big dat i am loss for words.
i didn expect her to forget.
cause de day before she was a cheerful little girl telling me dat tmr is my birthday.
and i told her nvm.
de worst worst came.
sherry and probably samantha have forgotten too.

and i realise dat nobody rmb.
all my best friends have forgotten.
i wanted to cry.
but i told myself not to.
its no big deal.
my birthday is not something big
its alright dat nobody rmb.
i am not celebrities or wad. its alright.

i went back to class.
sitting alone while others were playing.
i didn know wad to do or how shld react.
i feel kind of left out.
but i told myself again.
it dosen matter.
left out jiu left out
no big deal.
nobody rmb my birthday
no big deal
at least i still have dat present


chu jun came and she saw de things on my table which is my present
she ask me what izzit and i told her is my birthday present.
and i forget what had happend.
she started to throw my present on de floor.
THROW.
i was SHOCKED.
is like de only thing dat i use to console myself dat watever happening is alright.
at de very very least i still have this
was thrown to de floor.

i was holding back my tears.
i didn want to cry infront of my classmates.
but my heart break.
i scold chujun
yupp, i scolded her
thats de only way dat i can hide from everything
use anger to hide de tears
to hide de fact dat i'm sad because my bestfriend've forgotten my birthday
i use chujun as an excuse,
sorry chujun. i dun mean to.
but at dat time i really dun know wad to do.

i was behaving like a mad women.
and she walked away.
i sat dere alone.
trying to calm myself down.

chun yang came and wanted to beat me 14times since i'm finally 14.
trying to prove that i'm alright, i gave him my hand.
and he started to beat me.
its really painful.
my hand was completley numb at de 6beat
normally i will scream and tell him to stop.
but i didn do or say anything.
i just sat there. stare at him.

after sometimes...
it was lit.
mrs lum wanted to teach.
she distributed papers.
i dunno why
but i can't seems to stop my tears from flowing when she was teaching.
good thing is dat, nobody noticed dat i was crying.
=)

den it was IT.
2e3 waited outside de comp room
i stood there.
was abnormally quiet.
controlling my tears.
and when sherry and peeps notice dat my eyes were red.
i just told them dat i was tired, thats all..

time pass and pass.
i was forcing myself to be happie. =)
but one thing i didn lie to all of u is dat MOS WAS REALLY FUN.

and today de steamboat thinky.
my bestfriends called and say dat they have something on
they apologised.
and agained i didn blame them
i knew they wanted to come.
actually i have mental prepare dat dere will peeps dat will not turn up.
so it dosen really matter.
and anyway we have great great fun.
read kaijia blog.
it has been a long time since i enjoyed myself so much.
i told myself to be strong. today was fun.
and i'm really very happy.

but when i reached home
and when i was bathing.
i cried.
i was dissappointed.
i really wanted to celebrate my birthday with them.
i really wanted them to come
i really wanted
maybe its fated dat i dun have this chance.
two birthday...

peeps, i really didn blame u all dat u didn turn up.
its alright.
really.
sorry if my nick have offended anyone of u.
sorry.
i really dunno wad to do.
i just wanted to say it dosen matter.
pls dun get de wrong idea.
maybe all de while is my fault.....
sorry....
i just dun wanna get reminded of these sad birthday.
dat why i say dun remind me of de steamboat thinky
although i have great fun..

in my this whole sec1 and 2 life.
i have nv expected dat de ppl dat celebrated my birthday with me, will be this bunch of steamboat ppl.
thanx kaijia
thanx mong
thanx huiying
thanx qingting
thanx priscilla
thanx jianee



this post. its just meant for me to vent out my feelings..
if u are offended.
sorry.
i dun mean anything.

j.s.p.s
i knew all along dat once i let go of it. it will nv be de same again.
sorry.
but i chose to let go of it.
for some foolish reason. 2e3 rocks.... i have decided to go to sch tmr.
since its only for few hours?
lolx.
my lvl position drop from 87 to 89 -_-lll
not fair.
xinyi improve sehh. from 90 to 84
hmm.. dun care..
tmr after sch, sherry accompany me to see doctor.
so nice right.
sherry rocks!!
haha =)
mos was fun fun fun!!
haha.
i wld like to thank someone for accompanying me from 25/10 twelve am to 26oct twelve am
sweet guy =) ppl confirmed going
-germaine
-priscialla
-xin yun
-deanna
-qing ting
-jia nee
-valerie
-boon swan
-me!!
-pak meng
-sherry
-kai jia
-christopher
-eugene
-jarrett

peeps dat will most probabaly go but not confirmed
-adeline
-sze ting
-hui ying
-shangwei
-jeryl
-joanna
-zhang peng
-zu yao

de steamboat thinky is at night
but we are meetin early, probably in de afternoon
to play, shop, blah blah blah..
those who cannot make it, can come at night.
i will settle de time before friday! ppl who going on sunday
can double comfirm with me tmr?
i will ask around...
ppl go lahh!!
go eat together.
haha la la la...
so happy
i'm gonna work on my birthday!!! went to kusu island by ferry this morning
sea sick..
la la la la...
i ask my father a very stupid question there.
"do we really have to go back by ferry again"
ppl, next time if theres activity dat require to travel by boat and ferry
COUNT ME OUT.
waited for bout 1hour for de ferry after staying dere for only 45mins
while queing up, de guy beside me carried his young nephew and put him on de railing.
den de young little kid's shoe drop into de sea.
-_-lll
his grandmother wanted to ask de lifeguard to take his shoe back
and de guy beside me said (his son)
"life guard also have parents de, is not worth risking his life just to get back a shoe"
and when de grandmother still insisted on calling de lifeguard.
de little kid mother said
"de shoe dosen cost much"
i thought de grandmother will be angry or something.
but shes not...
in the end, a uncle took a long bamboo stick and manage to bring de shoe back to "shore"
and thats de end of de story....
lolx

walk all de way to lao ba sha(festival market) from the pier
dun ask me why izzit call festival market instead of old market.
i ate seafood ramen.
DELICIOUS!!
ramen so nice..
lolx...
after lunch went back home.
slept for a while and den meet zoe at amk library
to give her, her papers
kao...
waste my time...
i wanna sleep de lohh..
so tired. maybe i have no right to comment..
i very luan...
maybe i dunno both of them well enough.
maybe i shldn't zi zhuo zu zhang i dun wann my friend to be hurt or cheated
if u really dun like her, pls tell her..
dun give her false hope.
dun wait till shes really deeply in love with u
and then u tell her that actually u dun like her
i will kill u literally, if u nv tell her how u feel
i'm serious!!
sms me when u see this huh.
no offence though today actually no sch de
den got gu zheng
-_-lll
but luckily chen laoshi didn come
liang lao shi came.
i like him though his bald.
almost bald.
he say i like him because his easy to bully.
which is quite true.
his very nice.
his a music genious.
lolx.
we threatend him to teach us new song.
or else we will not attend de lesson
haha.
he compose de song on de spot
de new song title is [[yang yin diao]]
den we change it to
[[siao dia cai]] small plate of vegetable
and he agree to it.

we are fast learner
took bout 1hour to learn dat song.
and after dat he teach us to play drums!!
for fun
den we were fooling around.

after gu zheng call my cousin
ask her to pei me go out.
in the end we went to bugis.
serangoon to bugis.
first u have to take mrt to douby ghout
and den change train and take to city hall
and change train again and take to bugis...

its fun shopping with my cousin!
she offer to buy de bag in wallet shop for me.
lolx.
but i told her i dun wann.
is like shes not working, just a student.
she and her sister always treat me to those very ex restaurant.
i love my cousins.
lolx.
i saw this very nice polo white wallet.
i like it a lot
and its cheap.
only cost 19.90 after a 50%discount.
with de fact dat is branded
didn buy it
=(
didn bring enough money.

my parents warned me last night not to go out after gu zheng. but who cares.
lolx.
one advantage to go out with my cousin is dat my mother will not scold me. today damn funny.
me, sam,dea, eugene. we playing poker card.
big2. or wad u call daidi
den dunno who came in and we were like rushing. push back de table. and an back to our own seats.
haha.
den after de teacher left. we play murderer with more ppl joining in.
den miss loo came.
and we.....
push back de tables and ran to our own seats.
haha.
we damn pleased with ourselves.
managed to get de tables back to original place very fast.
murderer very fun.
lolx.
that was once when me and deanna were murderer and we wink at each other.
haha.
qing ting damn blur. haha.
first time play.
chun yang damn funny.
kellie was trying to act innocent. i'm addicted to blogging
i love to blog
haha...
i still cannot log in
but oliver can
so he help me.
THANX OLIVER!! i can't og in to de estreaming thinky..
argg.. i change my mind.
i wann bio.
1st choice-B5 not B4
2nd choice-B2
3rd choice-A1
4th choice-D2
5th choice- E2
6th choice-D1

sorry to someone.
prank call serious sucks. i can conclude that 2e5 is crazzie
more than half de class get top 100
they are CRAZZIE.

i will not comment anymore.
heart know. stomach know den can le. (xing zhi du ming)
later kana BASH UP by them.
LOLX.
but i must say that they are very PRO.

quite satisfied with my lvl position...
if i say i'm still not happy with it, surely got a lot of ppl want to beat me up de.
and pak meng will be de first.
BUT.
HELLO.
my mid year was like kana sia.
last 12.
not last 12 in de class.
but whole level.

now is time to be fan bout courses to choose.
shld i choose thriple science?
maybe not.
i hate SCIENCE.
lolx.
i think de sch very kind
we are given 25 courses to choose from.

my brother and miss long
no is miss long and my brother say
bio is easy, is all bout memorising.
but...
i dunno larr...
my bro say geo is easy too...
shld i take LIT OR GEO?
maybe i will choose lit.
arggg... dunno...

heres my 6 choices (subjected to change)
1st-B2
2nd-B1
3rd-B6
4th-E2
5th-D1
6th-A1

nobody in zhss wan thriple science.
i'm kind enuff to put it as my last choice.

AHHHH....
energy concert VCD and DVD will be out on 24oct05!!!
day before birthday...
but i'm dead broke.
i go out every alternate day
spend a lot.

i will be working on my birthday!
first day of work
surely very memorable de
provided that mos wants me.
LOLX...

happy birthday tiffany!! this is zhss webbie
http://www.zhonghuasec.moe.edu.sg/default.aspx
i can't find de results page.
i just realise dat zhss webbie is nice.
not de home page.
but...
for example go to.......
http://www.zhonghuasec.moe.edu.sg/school%20department%20list.htm
press de subjects there!!

ahem ahem...
2e3 works...
http://www.zhonghuasec.moe.edu.sg/eng_let05/portfolio.htm
thats mushroom essay...
de second one...


and...
TADA!
http://www.zhonghuasec.moe.edu.sg/ipw05/projects.htm
4.Bread Bratz sanitary pads
take a look!!
done by:jeryl, kellie, tiffany and sze ting.
LOLX..

went to ps with sce ting after sch..
eat steamboat and chicken hot plate!!
yummy..
LOLX.. toda was shalala day.
i pass everything =)
which is a good news...
LOLX.
score quite well i think.
hmmm...
i dun have any expectation
so cant say that is better than my expectation.

de photo taking was terrible.
we waited for like 2hrs just to take a few shots.
cause not enough blazer and tie.
LOLX.
imagine me wearing tie and blazer.
i think i look funny but dosen matter
because of photo taking we miss de hygiene talk
dunno izzit a good or bad thing

bet with chia how.
he say if i marry before 40 he will give me thousand bucks.
la la la~
lolx...
todae he very funny.
kana suan by me..

i break up with my girlfriend.
i damn sad lohh..
although i dun look like.
but my heart broeak into pieces.
arggg...
no more girlfriend
sob =( i'm not looking forward to tomorrow.
tomorrow will be a sucky day
after sch still must stay back to take photo with blazer..
remind me of de sad syf... yst, went j8 with qing ting
i wasted my $14.20
buying eye shadow
and it was green colour
u can say that i'm crazzie
i dun even think dat i will ever use it.
sob.

we are given many choices in life
is wad u choose dat matter.
ppl, help me make de decision

specs or contact
my specs gonna spoil le

energy concert VCD or nangdingeer(kunda act de)
maybe i will buy both or rent nangdingeer

MOS or YOSHINOYA
i prefer mos!! lolx

BIRTHDAY

-steamboat or blah blah blah
-celebrate together with tiffany??
her birthdae was like 11days earlier than mine
-hat or lipstick (from qt)
hmmm... why de hell wld i need lipstick for. lolx
-i seriously wld like valerie they all and qing ting gang to like go out together on my birthday and have our lunch together.
possible?? i dun wann present, i just wann ppl to celebrate with me.

i know someone will not like it but........(not refering to tiffi)

-no boys??
because of ahem ahem, is either boys or her
and obviously i wld choose to have her

-my hp plan end on my birthday. renew de plan or buy new phone??
dunno dunno dunno. i wanna work and buy new phone with my own money. but that means i will be phoneless for bout ......... maybe i shld ask my father, maybe he will lent me money.






i love 2e3!!
i very shy lehh, public confess... *face red*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHAN PENG!!

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything. You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey. You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

Your Hair Should Be Pink

Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun. You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

You Are 20% Boyish and 80% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine. You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you. A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down. But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

Your Birthdate: October 25

Your birth on the 25th day of the month (7 energy) modifies your life path by giving you some special interest in technical, scientific, or other complex and often hard to understand subjects. You may become something of a perfectionist and a stickler for details. Your thinking is logical and intuitive, rational and responsible. Your feelings may run deep, but you are not very likely to let them show. This birthday makes you a more private person, more introspective and perhaps more inflexible. In friendships you are very cautious and reserved. You are probably inventive, and given to unique approaches and solutions.

i'm employed!
xD
so happy... reading all my testimonials..
many ppl classify me as nerd, last year.
haha.
lots and lots of memory...
de ups and down. freako.
my bro dun let me watch a show dat i have been looking forward to for de whole week.
arggg...
i shall be a good girl and not quarrel with him.
i so mature xD

tmr gonna look for jobs with jeryl.
peeps dat wanna come along with us
can sms her or me.

i'm excited!!
job. job.. job...
woah!!
u know what.
EXAMS ARE OVER!
to me, exams are already over two days ago.
-_-ll
been slacking.

so unlucky. kana chosen to be math peer tutor.
some more is sec3 be.
sianzation.


the objectives of the programme(math tutoring) are as follows:

(a)To provide an opportunity for Sec3 Express students to develop leadership, effective communication skills and to enhance their self esteem.

(b) To foster a caring spirit and to develop friendship and teamwork between Sec3 and Sec1 pupils.

(c) To help Sec1 Normal students in their mathematic


wonder who the hell type this -_-lll
so lame lohh...
it remind me of the buddy reading, pri5
when i have to read to de primary1
is like LAME.
but dat buddy reading thinky is i volunteer de

went to cut hair with zoe.
i cut botak!
de hair dresser cut damn fast.
within a few minutes....
i was bald!!
hmm.. no.. no... no...
is my hair drop down. pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.pissed off.
i'm so freaking pissed of... hmm.. forget it...

after hcl paper. hydrochloric acid paper. buy lunch for my mum den went home. i'm good girl
=D
watch stairways to heaven CD1&2!!!
so nice.
teenage de taihua so damn shuai!
but still lose to energy!
ppl dun deceive urself.
accept/face de fact dat
ENERGY IS SHUAI!

den slept from 3pm to 7pm.
and i'm still freaking tired.
haven start revising yet.
but i will revise later
i'm a good girl
=D

tmr after de last paper i'm gonna cut botak!!!
=)
BOTAK!
cool huh.
and went sch reopens.
dat will be a new me with botak head!?
LOLX..

i'm gonna buck up and study my chinese during de holi.
weird huh?!
after exam le still study
cause i'm a GOOD GIRL.
muahaha...

i dunno how many time i must emphasis that i'm a GOOD GIRL.
cause i'm such a good girl. =D


botak.botak.botak.botak. nuinai is stepping out of de showbiz to be a
PRIMARY SCH DANCER TEACHER.
he already is.
so cool.
imagine de shuai shuai nui nai teaching 60 little kids.
AHHHHH...
so cute.

means energy will probably nv exist ever again
=(
but...
nvm.
energy de coolest band in de world
so shuai!!! nuinai is stepping out of de showbiz to be a
PRIMARY SCH DANCER TEACHER.
he already is.
so cool.
imagine de shuai shuai nui nai teaching 60 little kids.
AHHHHH...
so cute.

means energy will probably nv exist ever again
=(
but...
nvm.
energy de coolest band in de world
so shuai!!! down with flu cough blah blah blah.. feeling so sick. can't stop sneezing. can't stop coughing...
lolx..
so shiok make yc call me jiejie. LOLX...
woah.

mr lim damn cool. make 2n1 and 2 sing national anthem in pumping position. i thought he was gonna pump my class too, scare me. de floor is wet. i dun wanna do pumping on wet floor.
zhonghua seems more like a military sch, pumping, sit ups blah blah blah... maybe all sch are like dat too? lolx
-_-lll
hmmm.. rmb starting of de year, he came to our class and warn us not to get into troubles or else we gonna get it from him. say wad our class notorious. last year got lots of complain from teachers. even mdm lau warned us too. i was wondering what de hell we did besides being damn noisy.
2e3 become more guai le this year. maybe because form teacher damn strict. beggining of de year a lot of ppl dun like miss long. and after sometimes we realise how much she care for us, how much she love us. LOLX.
i am muffin #17
LOLX...
BUT.
HEY. i dun wanna be muffin. i dun wanna be muffinified.
i am already energyfied.
me and my energy fantasy =)


math papar1 was tough. maybe not but theres lots of calculation to be done. not enough time
=( leave a total of 13marks blank.
is not i dunno how to de.
theres just not enough time.
=(
after de math exam. feel so damn helpless.
dunno wad to do.
didn study science de previous day
and dun feel like studying.
i just glance throught some of de notes and thats it.
i was like song1 si1

during de science exam.
after attempting few mcq question i realise dat i will die for sure.
and den i decided to do my work slowly.
hack care everything.
but hey. only de mcq are difficult de rest are okay.
taking my own sweet time to write.
but surprisingly i finish de paper quite early
left 10minutes to check.

tmr higher chinese paper.
pak meng "force" me to bring my chinese textbook home.
i doubt i will even flip de book.
thats nothing much to study

i'm looking forward to my birthdae
tiffany and i gonna celebrate OUR birthday together.
though i birthdae falls on different day.
i know i will have a great time =)

two more days and exams will be over =) i have no comments on wat u did.
i shld feel sad but i'm not.
oh. watever.
my source of happiness did this.


i totally have no mood to study science and
i give up on science le.
dun feel like studying.
maybe i shld concentrate on my math.
i wanna score round 80.
whish is my average.
i'm not showing off
but math is my only hope.
only subject that i score well.
budden after doing de last year math paper.
is like -_-lll
SCIENCE SUCKS...
fail den fail bahx.
dun care le...
anyway i dun mind studying at combine science... woah!! finally can blog le!
blogger keep having problems.
yckss ppl have been adding me and i know de reason.
de reason is obvious.
which mean more and more ppl from yckss will come to my account
gossip and watever but too bad i'm gonna make my profile one seenable by my friends
=)
shld i accept them?
if reject like quite rude lehh..
haha
i thought i have recover from my fever
but is de medicine dat stop my haedache
arggg.. watever
i have been studying for de past 6hours
and u know wad.
i only manage to study 2chpt of history
so great.
LOLX

i still rmb clearly de words dat principal say.
is like so damn -_-lll
MISS TAN: de sec4prelim results... haiz...
all of u come here with high psle score but
now...
de results.
ex students say we are not as strict as last time



so what does this show? de sch is lousy. haha. but dosen matter, i still like de principal.
but dosen mean i love the sch. contradicting?? watever..

i'm just glad dat i didn choose ********* sec. my parents keep forcing me to put it as my first few choice. but whoc cares. no matter how much i dislike zhss, i still wun transfer to that sch. no offence though. i just think that is loucy.. opps. haha



happy children's day =) woah!! finally can blog le!
blogger keep having problems.
yckss ppl have been adding me and i know de reason.
de reason is obvious.
which mean more and more ppl from yckss will come to my account
gossip and watever but too bad i'm gonna make my profile one seenable by my friends
=)
shld i accept them?
if reject like quite rude lehh..
haha
i thought i have recover from my fever
but is de medicine dat stop my haedache
arggg.. watever
i have been studying for de past 6hours
and u know wad.
i only manage to study 2chpt of history
so great.
LOLX

i still rmb clearly de words dat principal say.
is like so damn -_-lll
MISS TAN: de sec4prelim results... haiz...
all of u come here with high psle score but
now...
de results.
ex students say we are not as strict as last time



so what does this show? de sch is lousy. haha. but dosen matter, i still like de principal.
but dosen mean i love the sch. contradicting?? watever..

i'm just glad dat i didn choose ********* sec. my parents keep forcing me to put it as my first few choice. but whoc cares. no matter how much i dislike zhss, i still wun transfer to that sch. no offence though. i just think that is loucy.. opps. haha



happy children's day =)

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your tagboard here. :)